Relationship Reveals What We Refuse to Accept
Becoming human is knowing there is nothing under the sun that we are not capable of. It is the process in which our illusions and fantasies, about ourselves and others, fall away and we find ourselves face to face with reality. We all ultimately live in a world beyond our control. No matter how hard we try to make it otherwise, we are eventually brought to our knees by this fact. Loss and death are inescapable. Our only choice then is to what degree we accept the full range of our experience right now, outside and inside us. This is no easy task. Yet, whether we like it or not, this is what life calls all of us to do.
We can resist, and try to defend ourselves from this reality, but this only increases our suffering and the suffering we cause others. Our most pervasive and unnecessary source of suffering comes from wanting things to be other then they are. From wanting ourselves to be different than we are. From wanting others to be other than they are. The act of embracing what is, as it is, is not just a philosophical, conceptual idea. It is a down-in-the-trenches challenge of facing our shadow, experiencing all of our emotions, and accepting what is within us as it shows up in this moment. It is in relationship more than anywhere else that we are confronted with what we still resist and reject in life, in ourselves, and in others.